I have been in serious thought recently about what to do with my daughter and her extreme set of emotions. Unfortunately she comes by them naturally. When she's happy, everyone in the house is happy. However, when she's mad we all suffer. To say that it's just because she's two would be an understatement. You see I know from my own childhood and experiences with my own emotions that this is not a phase. I am well aware that I need to begin preparing myself (or I should have already) for the years in front of us as she is growing up.
Josh and I both believe in spanking as a method of discipline and believe it is effective if done the right way. The Bible says the following about it:
Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Not to say that L doesn't get spankings but it only makes her more mad and out of control. Thus I have started looking into different methods to teach her how to deal with her anger. One method I recently read about was time-ins where the parent models for the child what to do when they themselves are upset. For example when the parent finds they are getting upset they stop whatever they're doing and find a quiet place to sit. In this quiet place, they engage in some self-talk to try to get things in perspective, acknowledge the factors that are causing anger and frustration, and refocus on the big picture. This is supposed to model for the child a positive way to deal with your anger and frustrations. A friend of mine who already utilizes this in her home says it has already begun to produce fruit with her own child who now recognizes when she needs a time-in and will tell her mom. They also use this as a time to pray together, which I thought was a great idea.
So now I am curious about everyone else...how do you deal with anger and modeling it for your children? What are your methods of discipline?
Jennifer--This will get better as she gets older..don't worry!! We do have to spank our kids from time to time. But, now that our kids are a little older, we use the Bible. We have always "told" them what the Bible says, but now we show them why their behavior is not acceptable. With Tatum being 4 I still ask her, "Are you making Jesus happy or sad, Do you think Jesus likes how you are acting, etc." They always, always care about that and it has been to our benefit for sure. I also think that will help them as they get older and make more of their own decisions to always include God in their decisions. Hope this helps. Oh, I think the modeling thing would be great!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lori! We do the same with D. He's a much more complacent child but he has his moments. The first Bible verse we taught him was "Children obey your parents for this pleases the Lord." (Colossians 3:20) He hates for me to bring it up when he's in trouble but it reminds him, like you said, to include God on his decisions. It's beginning to work...I even remind him before he gets out of the truck every morning to make good choices. Btw he was 18 months when he memorized that verse! L is going on 2 1/2 so we have a long way to go, but with God's help I know she'll get there! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts :)
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