Mother's Day :P

I hate Mother's Day! (Bare with me...I have alot on my heart.)  There are so many reasons why but mostly for two reasons. One is because my heart aches with an undescribable pain for a woman who carried my son for 9 months and then made the difficult choice to let him go.  It always starts about a week or so before. I think of her everyday but more so about that time.  In my head I unwillingly put myself in her shoes and consider what she must have gone through.  What she must be going through now.  And my heart hurts.  It hurts because she and many other women must face this day wondering, so full of questions about the baby they placed in the care of strangers, the baby they never held, and have never met.  I on the other hand have received the joy every day watching him grow up to be a sweet, tenderhearted, thoughtful young man (almost, gulp!).  I laugh with him, play with him, teach him, give him hugs and kisses (when he let's me), and know him.  Everyday!  and I'm thankful to be called Mom by him.  I'm thankful for everyday I have with him.  No I don't know her heart or what she thinks about this day.  I've never even met her, but in my heart I imagine she is hurting and I hate that for her!  
I also hate MD because there are women out there who've yet to hold a baby of their own in their arms or may never be a mom but long to be with a longing that makes me hate this day even more.  They must get out of bed and face this day with a courage and strength only God can provide and even then it's not easy.  There's stuff all over the place to remind them of their pain.  It's not easy to escape it on MD...trust me! 
Our God is good, he is sovereign, knows what's best and has a plan for each life.  I know he does.  He's continually showed me that...it's a lesson I seem to have to learn over and over again, but this is not a happy day for every girl.  I know most people won't understand but please try to be sensitive when you post on fb/twitter/social media.  Please be prayerful for them.  And don't just pray for them today, but everyday!  Despite all the happy mother's you see remember there are many hurting in secret.   They would rather crawl under a rock than face this day!  I've been in at least one of these places personally and I understand.  And although I have my children, MD is still hard for me.  I can't forget these women and my prayer is that if you're reading this you won't either!

Christmas 2012

Bold Bright Wishes Christmas

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Big Girl Princess!

Our family has  A  L  O  T  of celebrating to do this week!  Well, at least mom and L do anyway!

Most of you know the struggle we've had with pottytraining our strongwilled child.  I started trying with her last summer thinking she was ready.   I thought we would have all summer to work on it and she would be wearing panties and using the potty before school started and I had to go back to work.  Well......summer came and went with nothing, much to my disappointment.  Friends told me to just wait on her and that she'd tell me when it was the right time.  At school her teachers were helpful and understanding.  They tried to work with her, but unfortunately we didn't have the consistancy we needed since she had three different teachers (or more...I think I lost count :/ ).  I will give credit to Ms. Kylie though.  We loved her and she is an awesome teacher for that age group!  I'm incredibly thankful for her patience and kindness towards my daughter. 

Fastforward to this summer.  I decided I was going to bite the bullet no matter what!  Thinking I was doing something wrong I downloaded a book to my Kindle appropriately called "Training the Strong Willed Child".  I won't begin to tell you what a joke the advice in this book was.  Let's just say they haven't met MY daughter.  After researching online and finding that I had tried all the advice out there, that I agreed with anyway, I resorted to bribery!  Suckers, chocolate, ice cream.  We even bought her a little swimming pool.  She still wasn't interested but she was at least beginning to show signs of trying.  Then last weekend we took a trip to KC and left D for a few extra days to have some special time with Gram.  We returned home with just L and the hopes that this was my opportunity to focus solely on her and pottytraining. Tuesday I stuck her in a pair of panties.  She even sat on her potty chair for a while and just watched tv for a little bit. We had a little bit of luck with that.  She had a couple of accidents through the day but nothing that couldn't be easily cleaned up.  Then that evening we had a BREAKTHROUGH OF MAJOR PROPORTIONS!  She actually told me that evening after dinner that she needed to "go peepee"!  It was music to my ears.  What made it even better was that she didn't want to sit on her potty chair.  She took me to the bathroom, sat on her pottyseat and went in the toilet like she'd been doing it all along!!!  The next few days I was worried and feared we might not have the luck we'd had the day before but she surprised me.  She actually made it to the potty most everytime with only a few accidents.  The impressive part was that she told me everytime she needed to go.  After she stayed dry all day Friday, though she convinced that she is serious about it now and finding pride in her accomplishments.  She walks around saying "I'm a big girl princess", a title bestowed on her by her daddy!
Amazingly just after less than a week she's wearing panties at the house and pullups outside---and staying dry!!!  She even told me she needed to go a couple of times at church this morning and did it both times.    This mommy is happy---happy for her!  Most of all I am proud for her and thankful that I can clearly see the light now at the end of the tunnel called Pottytraining!

The Cat Is Out of the Bag!!!

So I guess it's okay to post my big news now that those who needed to know first know (if that doesn't sound like a mouthful)....

I resigned my teaching job at the beginning of last month in order to stay home with the kids AND (just wait, it gets better)...

HOMESCHOOL! 

I can just hear some of you now--- "What?!", "No Way!", "Really?!" 

The answer is yes!  We have decided to follow God in faith and obedience in a new direction for our family.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited!!!  My heart has always been with my family and I always wanted to be a stay at home mom.  However, I never considered homeschooling as a part of my future.   God, like He always seems to, had other plans though.  When I was in middle school I knew I wanted to be a teacher one day and as I went through high school I realized this was God's calling for my life.  So that is what I pursued as I started college.  Then I met the man of my dreams and we got married, (Aww!!!), I graduated with a BS in Elementary Education, got a job immediately out of school and started my teaching career I had so long dreamed about.  Eventually D and L came along.

I love teaching.  I love the spark in a childs eye when they finally get "it" and knowing that I helped them to realize whatever "it" is drives me.  For the past 4 summers though the desire to stay home and be with my children as grown stronger and stronger.  They are my first priority after my relationship with God and then J.  I love my family fiercely, but we never felt like it was the right time.  Then last summer J and I committed to pray about it during the school year. 

God finally revealed His plan to us in April.  He began to provide in ways we hadn't seen coming and as J and I were talking about it for what seemed about the millionth time one evening we realized God was answering our prayer.  J asked me "Hasn't God called you to teach?"  This btw is a question he asks me every summer when we have this very same discussion, but it was as he was asking it that God put in my heart that He had called me teach OUR children. 

I am honored in more ways than I can say, yet I know this is how it should be for us and  I don't know if we will always homeschool but I do know that I'm not going to look ahead but instead obey God in the present.  God's timing and perspective of His plan and our lives is perfect!!!  So much more clear than ours---this is what keeps me grounded and unfearful of the crazy thoughts going around in my head telling me I can't do this or I'll mess up my kids!  Then there's the fact that He has put so many other sweet homeschool friends in our path with the knowledge and experience to help guide us down this road. 

So here we go...School starts August 1st in our house, exactly two weeks from today!!!  Please be praying for us and we'll keep you posted on our adventure!

My Calling

Have I mentioned just how much I. love. summer?!  There are so many things about it I don't think I have enough time to mention all of them.  So I'll just tell you my all time favorite thing which is being with my family---being a wife and mother.  I don't care what anyone thinks.  Being a housewife is God's ultimate calling for my life.  I am filled with so much joy when my kitchen is clean, laundry is done AND put away, things are organized, my kids are happy, and Josh can walk through the door to dinner waiting on the table and us with smiles on our faces (even if it has been a CrAzY day in our house).  I know this doesn't mesh with society's current idea of what a housewife should be---I've known for a long time I was born in the wrong decade---but I do know this is what God wants for me and my family and not just during the summer but every day of the year.  I am so blessed to be the manager of this family and I am honored that God has blessed me with the titles of "wife", "mother", and "homemaker".

Memories of 2010

Wow!  So much has happened this year!  Our family has once again been incredibly blessed.  We are not ending the year, not to mention the decade,  any wealthier or better off, however we are healthy, happy and we have each other.  Here are some of the things we'll remember about 2010:

1. The ice storm that left us without electricity for three straight days.  It swear it felt much longer than that!!!  I learned alot about myself.  Like I would never have survived living on the prairie, I wasn't made for winter and I take a lot more for granted than I truely realize.

2. I planted my first garden and it actually produced all the way into November!!!  It was great watching it grow and being able to walk out my door to grab tomatoes, peppers, squash, and zucchini. I will definately do it again in 2011.


3. I finished my last year at Lincoln.  It was my first public school job.  I started out teaching fourth grade and the following years after that I was blessed with the opportunity to teach first.  It's where my classroom was located for 7 years.  I feel like I did a lot of growing up and learning about the world and myself there. 

4. Our family vacation to San Antonio.  It was so much fun!  Even if we lost Lilly at the hotel, D cut his toe at Sea World, it stormed while we were there and our whole half side of town was without electricity an a/c for the entire night.  Except for all that, we had a great time...D fed the dolphins, the Riverwalk was beautiful, and we found a restaurant ALMOST as good as Ted's!

5. I did a book study with some friends in my house over Femenine Appeal.  It was awesome and something I can't wait to take part in again.  Hmm wonder what we'll read next???

6. Started the school year in a different building.  The building I actually went to kindergarten, first and second grade in.  It was interesting and felt like I had come full circle. I teach right next door to my own first grade teacher now!

7. D started kindergarten and his reading has taken off!!!  I'm so excited to listen to him read to me. 

8. L started speech.  It has been a blessing for us all.  She's only been going one day a week but we've seen so much progress in only a short amount of time.

9. My sister and I started a monthly girls night out.  Each month we take turns choosing the restaurant and activity (usually shopping, but we're both good with that!).  I think we're closer than we've been in a LONG time and we have a blast when we get to go!

10. Christmas 2010:  We all got sick, we kinda missed out on a normal Christmas for our family and L had her tonsils and adenoids removed. May not be the greatest ending to the year BUT we are all on the mends and hopefully L will be more healthy in the new year :)


Happy New Year to all of you!!!

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!!!

With the ending of the old year and beginning of the new one I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!" I am thankful for my God who gives new beginnings no matter what time of year it is! May all of you have a beautiful new beginning to the new year and the new decade!